So you just graduated and you don’t have a dream…

“You just graduated! What’s next??” said every person ever.

…what’s next? What’s next? Umm, this Chipotle. Then this Netflix.

Ohhh haha you meant with my life? So yeaaa…same answer.

You know what… let’s backup. Yes, I am graduating. Like a champ. Billions never graduate, but I will. Thank you for just celebrating this special moment, and not mentioning the daunting uncertainty that is post-grad life.

…OH WAIT.

Guess what: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S NEXT. This hilarious GPA sure isn’t helping and no, I don’t have a “dream”. You tell me what to do, Mr. Know-It-All Chipotle Guy.

—

They tell us to follow our dreams. Then they show us inspiring stories of those who did. Those who went on to create incredible super-human things for this world. Those who give everything for their dream. They are happy, and free, and alive.

But what if we haven’t found our dream? Or even worse — what if we don’t even have a dream?

…This is how I felt when I graduated. With no plan and no dream, I was lost. Absolutely lost. But as this wonderful crazy life would have it, my path cleared and my dream woke up.

And now, since you’re graduating…I thought I’d share 3 things that have drastically changed my life since diploma day. Maybe they’ll help you awaken your dream:

1. Chase feelings, not money. Our dreams are hidden in the feelings we have when we’re most awake. Sure, a paycheck is great. But helping a hospitalized child smile is…sublime. When we feel love and compassion and life, we are closest to our dreams. So, what makes you feel the most alive? What can you talk about for hours? Chase that.

2. Volunteer. The big dream — the real meaning of life — will not come from comfort. The big dream will come from throwing yourself next to the sick or the hungry, the poor or the isolated. The big dream will begin inside their struggle or sadness, because then you’ll feel it. And in that instant, your life will become about their life and boom… you’ve just found real, boundless happiness. So stand next to those who are suffering, and look for that spark. It’s brightest in the dark.

3. Talk big about what you believe. Have you ever heard Ghandi discuss the stock market? Me neither. He talked big — of peace, and respect, and love. He didn’t allow the world to push him down into the meaningless details. The reality is that our dreams don’t live in the dirt, but rather in the highest values of humanity. If we want to awaken our dreams, we must also talk big…about what we value, care about, and believe. By sharing our deepest self with others, we bring our dreams to the forefront of our lives. We make them…real. Plus, we give ourselves the priceless possibility of finding others who also believe what we believe.

When I watched my Grandfather die, I realized that life is actually really short.

We have one chance. And it’s our dreams that make this chance mean something, for us and for those we help.

So, congratulations.

You graduated. You have a dream. And it’s about to wake up.

Joey

When you're worried about the future...

Sometimes, I get really worried about how my life is going to turn out. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one, but at least once a week, I wonder what everything will look like in the future: Will things work out? (Probably.) Will I figure it out…whatever it is? (Here’s hoping.) Will French fries ever stop being a food group? (Nope.)

Happy Endings are our thing. We picture them, we work for them, and maybe more often than we would like to admit, we worry about them. There’s something so awesome about the 100%-guaranteed, cue-the-swell-of-happy-music wonderfulness of happily ever after, that we chase it…not just in all things romance, but in work, in friendships, in adventures, and really, just in life. The ending means it is over: We did it! Time to sit back, live large and love larger, and enjoy the magic of the last chapter.

But it isn’t about the ending, even the happy ones. It’s about the story.

I’m a happily-ever-after person. I like it when hard work pays off and when movie endings are slightly predictable, when you can believe everything is going to work out okay in the end. But the happily-ever-after isn’t what makes the book worth reading. The story is.

We all have these books—our lives. We’re living stories. The things we do, places we go, things we watch and read and eat, our secrets and our dreams, the things we love and things we loathe, our big failures and big(ger) successes, the people we love and lose—these things write sentences on our souls that turn into the chapters of our lives. They make us, us.

Some chapters we can’t wait to close: Bad days. Bad weeks. Broken hearts, big messes, bruised egos, and bad decisions. Others, we wish told the whole story—the moments where we get to be our own hero, or, even better, the hero for someone else.

But this is what I’ve learned: All those chapters are parts of us. There is no one part that’s better or greater than another…because we need them all.

Together, they are greater than whatever ending. Maybe it isn’t about happily-ever-after so much as it is making every moment as happy as possible. Getting the happiest sentences, the most interesting chapters.

It’s easy to worry about the ending, the future, because we want it to turn out magnificently. What’s a little tougher—but incredibly more meaningful—is focusing on making today okay. Making it good. Making it happy, wherever we can. Writing a story that, someday, when we’re sitting in the middle of our ending, when the future is now, we want to go back and read.

No more somedays, one-days, or world’s greatest endings.

Pick up your pen. Write your now.

Rainesford
The Monday Life-Communications
@Rainesford 

What Monday means to me...

We know, we know. Ugh. Yuck. Snooze button. It's Monday: School, work, the grind of the week.

But we have the power to change the meaning of Monday.

We make Friday our glory day: TGIF! (or TGIT, if you're a Scandal watcher...) Make your big weekend plans! It's the time for fun, friends, dates, and refusing to remove your sweatpants until there is absolutely no choice. 

So if Friday is all about good times and great weekend plans...what's Monday all about?

I've only known about The Monday Life for a few years, but I've always been a Monday-lover. It started with my favorite ballet class being on a Monday all throughout childhood. Then, I got a little older and began falling in love with the clean-slate, carpe-diem feeling that comes along with the M-word. Now, I see Mondays as a way of changing the world.

So I started thinking about how different days mean different things to people. How there are different things we look forward to-not just on Friday, but every day: Pay day. Days off. Holidays that are really special. Days we've planned a trip or something else incredible. Days we get to see people who matter to us.

And that got me thinking about what Monday means. Sure, we all wish we could sleep an hour later or skip that really boring thing we probably have to do today...but we also get this insanely wonderful, spectacularly present opportunity to do something TODAY. To make this day, a Monday, matter. We have the chance to find what inspires us or chase a goal or change someone's life. Yes, you. You can totally change someone's life...not even with just $1 (though we think it'd be pretty cool if you did...) but by just showing up. By being kind. By trying your best. By doing all these beautiful, small, colorful things that wind up coloring in your awesome illustration of a life.

So what does Monday mean to me?

That I can keep going. That it's another day to conquer something that terrifies me (in the good, slightly nauseous, heart-pounding way) or to talk to that person or to learn something new.

This Monday, and every Monday, we get to leave a little piece of ourselves in the week. In the world. Let's make it good.

In case you needed to hear it this Monday: Keep going. You're going to be great. 

(PS: We want to know what Monday means to you. Shoot us an email (rainesford@themondaylife.org) with the meaning behind your Monday, and we'll publish it to our blog.)

Rainesford Alexandra
The Monday Life, Communications
@Rainesford 

So it's almost Valentine's Day and you haven't met The Great Love of Your Life...

A note from The Monday Life team: Our hearts are with Dean Smith’s family & all those in the community who loved and respected him. He not only made basketball better, he made the world better…and his legacy will inspire us every day. 

--

So the person you have a crush on didn’t text you back. You just broke up with somebody. You haven’t met the right person yet.

And it’s almost Valentine’s Day.

You’re prepared to cozy up with the essentials:

#1. More Chinese food than should be allowed (pizza could also be substituted here)

#2. Chocolate (or, if you’re me, all the sour candy in the universe)

#3. The Notebook (come on, you’re better than this! Even Ryan Gosling thinks so)

Honestly, on a day that’s all about being together, it’s easy to feel lonely. Or bummed. Or maybe even a little bitter.

But sometimes, especially on the day devoted to giant teddy bears (what do people do with those things, anyway?) and candy hearts, we forget something really cliché, and really important:

We forget that there are so many different kinds of love in this world. And I bet most of us are lucky enough to have experienced a few of them.

It’s easy to get caught up in what love is “supposed to” look like: Grand romantic gestures, dozens of flowers, surprise gifts, jet-setting travel…

And we save it all up for this one day: The day that’s all about love.

Well, don’t get me wrong—romantic love is great! Who doesn’t want to meet their soulmate, right? But maybe it isn’t all about one day. Maybe it isn’t about how it looks—but how it feels.

Every day is a love day.

And every kind of love matters.

Love is caring when you don’t have to and noticing the things no one else does. Love is cheering someone on and trying your best to make someone’s life a little better. It’s about being there when things are good, and when things are really bad…it’s about remembering, understanding, helping other people, making them happy.

Most of these are things aren’t ones you can Instagram, like a dozen roses and or a Nicholas Spark's novel. But they are the ones that really count. And chances are, these are the things we’ll look back on and remember. We may not remember the thing someone got us—but I bet we’ll always remember the love they brought into our lives.

If you haven’t met the Great Love of Your Life, don’t worry (easier said than done, I know). I think we get multiple Loves of Our Lives: Some are people. Some are amazing opportunities or moments or memories. And the good thing about it is, love happens all the time. Not just February 14th (and 15th, when they mark down all the delicious candy).

So as tempting as it may be to spend Saturday singing Adele ballads, maybe we can change the way we see love this year: Maybe we could focus all our good energy on the love we can give rather than just the love we receive.

Because you know what they say—

Everything you put out into the world makes its way back to you.

May your life—and your Valentine’s Day—be filled with love of all kinds.

Rainesford Alexandra
The Monday Life Communications
@Rainesford

What to do when you're scared: Make your mission about others

You know that feeling: Heart thumping. Room spinning. Is it all of a sudden really, really hot in here? Sweaty palms and elephants in your stomach. Glamorous, right?

No, we’re not talking about the stomach flu. We’re talking about fear.

At some time or another, we all have to do something that terrifies us: Maybe it is truly scary, like a kid being in the hospital, or a little smaller, like a big job interview or taking a huge chance. Whatever the circumstance, fear is no fun. It makes us feel small.

So, the question is, when we’re really, really scared, how do we make ourselves feel big again? How do we stop being scared?

I’m not the cool kind of fearful—total opposite of the person who gets nervous but skydives anyway. I’m the person that jumps off the high dive…only because the person behind me pushed me. It’s a knees-knocking, all-encompassing kind of scared, like we all experience sometimes.

A couple weeks ago, I got asked to do something really amazing, but equally terrifying. And I was panicking.

But then, someone gave me exceptionally wise advice that’s stuck with me ever since. You might know him: His name is Joey and he does extraordinary things for children’s hospitals. This is what he told me:

“The best thing that helps me is realizing that it’s not about me. Your entire mission isn’t about you—it’ll be about the children you’re trying to serve. Make it about them.”

There’s our answer: Take whatever is scaring you, and make it about others.

It’s amazing: Somehow, when we take our lives and make them about serving others, about making other people happy, and doing what we can to make things better, our problems seem lesser, our fears seem smaller. It’s like a diet for what scares you, or makes you unhappy.

It sounds simple, but it’s hard: We’re just human, after all, and we get scared and frustrated and sad. Sometimes we question whether we’ll be able to do something successfully, or wonder why nothing seems to go our way.

We will always have problems, and fears. But those things will seem less important when we shift our focus to helping others solve their problems, conquer their fears, and climb their mountains.

We may not be fearless, and we may not have superpowers like the ability to fly or eat whatever we want and never get full, but if you ask me, we have a pretty big one: We have the power to care about others.

What’s a little fear in the face of something so cool, so meaningful?

Be scared. Do it anyway.

But more importantly, help someone anyway. Fight for them or believe in them anyway.

We’ll be glad we did. 

Rainesford Alexandra
The Monday Life-Communications
@Rainesford